Conversations With Your Better Half

Brad Mack
Program Director
iXL, Inc.
His Better Half: Teri Capshaw

It's a good thing Teri Capshaw doesn't have a full-time job out of the house. Because when the light bulbs need replacing, her daughters need to be taken to the doctor, or parent-teacher conferences need attending, she has to do it. Her husband, it seems, is always traveling.
"She keeps the family together. It takes a strong person to put up with consultants on the road," says Brad, 42, who travels outside the States so much now that he always keeps four different currencies on him. The only household chore that falls to him is paying the bills, which he does electronically.
Teri, 39, a former marketing professional for Wake Forest University, where she got her MBA, quit her job shortly after their youngest child was born. It was a good time to do it. Their child care situation wasn't the best, and Brad was at a point in his career where they could live on his salary alone. Coincidentally, that was when Brad, who got his job at iXL last August, started to travel more.
"I'm really proud of him and I would never hold him back," says Teri from their Winston-Salem, NC, home. "He couldn't work for Virgin Atlantic, Microsoft, or Deutsche Bank here. So, he goes where the opportunity is, and that's okay."
Although he is not around as much as she would like, Brad's consulting job provides a good life for the family. The couple strongly believes in having one parent at home whenever possible. "We live in a wonderful town. We have a very nice life, and I'm not working. It's a trade-off," says Teri.
Their daughters, Carson, 11, and Sophie, 4, haven't suffered too much due to his long absences. "He probably packs more in in a weekend with them than I do in a week. He's on the phone and e-mailing all the time. Both girls have their own little e-mail accounts, and they always make plans for when he comes home," says his wife, adding that he never comes home empty-handed. "I know that after this trip he's going to take Carson shopping, and he and Sophie have already planned that they are going to play dolls."
While going back to work isn't practical right now, Teri doesn't mind being off the career track. "It's not like he's holding me back or he's keeping me from doing something I want to do. Even when he's out of town and I have a school board meeting, I get a baby-sitter and I still go."
Making time for volunteering is also very important to her. She spends about 10 hours volunteering at her children's schools and as a team leader for the Make-A-Wish Foundation's local chapter.
Even though Brad gets to work on glamorous accounts around the globe — like the $50 million contract with Virgin Atlantic he's currently on — Teri says he has it toughest since he's the one away from the family. Still, at times like when he recently called from Madrid, Spain, she'd like to switch places.
"I know it's hard on him and he's sitting in a hotel room all by himself. But he was whining to me about going to a tapas bar and not knowing what to order. And, oh, he knocked over all this stuff in the restaurant," she recalls. "It's like, Gimme a break, okay? Instead of dealing with the kids and two dogs, I would love to have his problems sometimes — of being in Madrid and not knowing what to order."

Sidebar: The Birthday Party
Teri Capshaw planned every last detail for her daughter Carson's 11th birthday party — a slumber one. She ordered the cake, found the karaoke entertainer, shopped for supplies, ordered the pizza, and decorated the house. And, she even figured out a way to get her husband, who was away on business, involved.
When Brad Mack returned from the airport near midnight in a limo, he surprised Carson, 10 of her friends, and her four-year-old sister by taking them out for a drive to the local Krispy Kreme donut shop.
"So, now that's the highlight of the party, Bradley coming home and giving them a ride," says Teri. "I don't think Carson minded him missing the karaoke and the cake."

Mona Steinberg
Consultant
Hewitt Associates
Her Better Half: Mark Steinberg

Mark Steinberg used to be in the business world, and, truthfully, he didn't care to be a part of it. His wife, Mona, is a successful management consultant at Hewitt Associates in San Francisco. Both felt that a child should have a full-time parent at home. So, when they married five years ago, they decided that Mark would be the one to stay home.
"We knew what my life was going to be like," says Mona, 40, who is either traveling or working late at the office two days a week. "We knew that I probably had greater earnings potential, and that when we had children, he'd probably be staying home."
When their daughter Jessica was born three years ago, Mark, 38, became her primary care giver. He spends his weekdays keeping the household running — shuttling Jessica to day care three days a week, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and doing the laundry. He also does the family's stock trading, waking up in time for the 6:30 a.m. market opening and squeezing as much work in before his daughter wakes up as he can.