Since we like people who are like us, find out the COMMONALITIES you have with the other person.
This is really common sense, since we intuitively know to lay a basic foundation to build from (notice how the first comment with the stranger is usually about the weather, establishing that we all live under the same sky), but I can't stress enough how important it is to have that small talk before launching in with your business dealings. A recent study concluded that negotiations that began with 10 minutes beforehand for the parties to get acquainted were successful 67 percent of the time; without those 10 minutes they were only successful only12.5 percent of the time.
The purpose of this brief window of time is to establish common ground, likability, trust—useful later to break a stalemate and create a win-win. Don't waste it—find something, preferable personal, which you can point to for sameness. And the key to finding those commonalities is to ask open-ended questions and really listen. Active listening is the greatest compliment you can pay someone—you are really important and you have 100 percent of my attention. Don't be thinking ahead of your next response or start going on about you. Keep the conversation on her and point out whatever you discover in common, even if it's just opinions that you share. This is easily done with an agreeable nod, a head tilt, a pleasant smile and steady eye contact. A full 10 seconds (hold it… hold it…) establishes great rapport.

COMPLIMENT him – "Nice tie!"
His read: I have good taste in clothing which you obviously recognize so now I like you, since you have pointed out that we have our good taste in common. We humans are also hardwired to enjoy hearing praise and like the flatterer, even when it is obviously false. Think of an applause sign flashing, people clapping, the entertainers grateful. The canned laugh track on the TV comedy works much the same way. We laugh right along with the fake laughter—oh those mirror neurons! "Great minds think alike"—this works on three levels: establishing commonality, complimentary flattery, self-praise (any label, even self-bestowed, is credible).

If I Don't Like You, I Won't Trust You… And We Will Never Do Business Together

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